Took a while for me to realize, but life’s still been blessings on blessings on blessings. (Cue Drake here) Here is the first raw and less-curated post of this year.
If you all have followed me since Day 1, you know I’ve had my struggles. You know there are thoughts that I’ll write online but won’t say out loud. Why? No idea. I’ve always loved writing, but part of me used to feel trapped after saying things out loud for whatever reason. I’m weird. I know, haha! So, here’s the gist: Longtime struggles: Lots of faith-related issues. We all know that there are highs and lows when you’re a believer. We’re human. Many things were happening last year that made me question my whole belief and my whole purpose. I didn’t get it, so I tried doing it myself. I tried doing life alone. Long story short- it doesn’t work that way. Only recently have I began re-embracing the love and support of those around me as well as His presence and the Holy Spirit’s. It’s a strange feeling, honestly. But what I can say is that things have begun falling into place! For now.
Post-grad struggles: Friends will tell you how exciting it is to graduate. And it is. To walk across that stage, and feel a sense of accomplishment you won’t ever feel again. It’s a milestone. A step forward in your journey. You won’t ever be a senior again. And you won’t. But here you are, being thrown into the ocean. You’re 50 feet under, and when you don’t have a job, you feel as if you’re incompetent of bringing yourself back up. It’s disappointing. You wonder if any of your choices were worth it. Did you make the right decisions? Why didn’t you fix them? Why didn’t you listen to the ones telling you that you were being stupid? Yea, there was a whole lot of that.
No more. I had to tell myself that. My boyfriend continued to tell me that I wasn’t alone although it really felt like it. I didn’t want to reach out to anyone, but that all changed. My friends from college and I decided to go out one day. That day, I truly realized how not alone I was. Y’all, we’re really in this with each other. There’s no way to do things alone, as much as I’d be determined to do so. Taking this at face value, it sucks. It sure does suck. But we can’t do that to ourselves. We owe it to our people and our spirits to see things differently. Count your blessings. We’re still blessed beyond measure.
This is definitely a weightier post, but thanks for sticking along! See you next Friday.